Empathy is being at one with the emotions of others, including but not limited to their suffering. It is not pity or even sympathy; it is understanding and entering into, or recognizing and sharing, another person’s feelings. Returning to the first few distinctions we made, recall that our own life experience enables to understand something of the life experience of others. That emotional understanding is the distinction we call empathy.
Real
True Narratives
- Janet Elder, Huck: The Remarkable True Story of How One Lost Puppy Taught a Family - and a Whole Town - About Hope and Happy Endings (Broadway Books, 2010). [how empathy can heal the empath]
- Leslie Jamison, The Empathy Exams: Essays (Graywolf Press, 2014): “Contemplating Other People’s Pain.
- Sherry Turkle, The Empathy Diaries: A Memoir (Penguin Press, 2021): “. . . a Beautiful Memoir About the Life of the Mind and the Life of the Senses”.
- Juan Villoro, Horizontal Vertigo: A City Called Mexico (Pantheon, 2021): “Villoro recounts his adventures with a mix of irony and empathy, with a sense of humor and a feeling for the absurd.”
- Malcolm Gladwell, The Bomber Mafia: A Dream, a Temptation, and the Longest Night of the Second World War (Little, Brown and Company, 2021): “One of Gladwell’s skills is enabling us to see the world through the eyes of his subjects.”
Technical and Analytical Readings
- Leslie Jamison, The Empathy Exams: Essays (Graywolf Press, 2014): essays. “Empathy means realizing no trauma has discrete edges. Trauma bleeds.”
Photographs
Documentary and Educational Films
Imaginary
Fictional Narratives
Novels:
- Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary (1857). [empathy for the subject]
- Charles Baxter, Gryphon: New and Selected Stories (Pantheon, 2011), stories from the author's home, the American Midwest.
- Alan Heathcock, Volt : Stories (Graywolf Press, 2011): “Heathcock displays a generosity of spirit that only those writers who love their characters can summon . . .”
- John Irving, In One Person (Simon & Schuster, 2012): “a story about memory . . . about desire , the most unsettling of our memories . . . (and) a story about reading yourself through the stories of others”.
- Jo Baker, Longbourn: A Novel (Alfred A. Knopf, 2013), a sympathetic look at servants in a British household.
- Andrew Sean Greer, Less: A Novel (Little, Brown & Company, 2017): “ . . . the funniest, smartest and most humane novel I’ve read since Tom Rachman’s 2010 debut, ‘The Imperfectionists.’ . . . . By the time Arthur reaches Japan, the reader isn’t just rooting for him but wants to give the poor guy a hug.”
- Richard Ford, Canada: A Novel (Ecco/HarperCollins Publishers, 2012): “Willa Cather once wrote that ‘a creative writer can do his best only with what lies within the range and character of his deepest sympathies.’ By that measure, and any other, Richard Ford is doing his very best in his extraordinary new novel . . . ”
- Jenny Offill, Weather: A Novel (Knopf, 2020): “. . . a novel reckoning with the simultaneity of daily life and global crisis, what it means for a woman to be all of these things . . .”
- Meena Kandasamy, When I Hit You, or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife (Atlantic Books, 2017): “This is not just a story of survival, but, more important, one of self-preservation.”
- Belinda Bauer, Exit: A Novel (Atlantic Monthly Press, 2021): “What lingers most, though, is Felix’s capacity for empathy, no matter the personal cost.”
- Nona Fernández, The Twilight Zone: A Novel (Graywolf, 2021): “. . . rather than fleeing from Valenzuela, we must pursue him and his secrets if there is ever to be a reckoning with the demonic legacy of men like him.”
- Jonathan Lee, The Great Mistake: A Novel (Knopf, 2021): “. . . Lee is ultimately more interested in showing how Green didn’t change despite his accomplishments. He explores the loneliness behind that itch, and how even successfully reinventing oneself might not scratch what really needs to be scratched.”
- Sarah Novic, True Biz: A Novel (Random House, 2022): “Great stories create empathy and awareness more effectively than facts do, and this important novel should — true biz — change minds and transform the conversation.”
Poetry
I know what the caged bird feels, alas!
When the sun is bright on the upland slopes;
When the wind stirs soft through the springing grass,
And the river flows like a stream of glass;
When the first bird sings and the first bud opes,
And the faint perfume from its chalice steals—
I know what the caged bird feels!
I know why the caged bird beats his wing
Till its blood is red on the cruel bars;
For he must fly back to his perch and cling
When he fain would be on the bough a-swing;
And a pain still throbs in the old, old scars
And they pulse again with a keener sting—
I know why he beats his wing!
I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,—
When he beats his bars and he would be free;
It is not a carol of joy or glee,
But a prayer that he sends from his heart’s deep core,
But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings—
I know why the caged bird sings!
[Paul Lawrence Dunbar, “Sympathy”]
Other poems:
- Sunil Gangopadhyay, “A Truth-Bound Sentiment”
Music: Composers, artists, and major works
In the Broadway musical “Annie” (1977) (approx. 113-127’), the title character lives a hard-knock life because she is an orphan. Then she finds favor with Daddy Warbucks. The play is based on the famous comic strip “Little Orphan Annie”. Here is a link to a full performance, and to filmed performances available for purchase, from 1982, and from 2014.
From the dark side:
Gioachino Rossini, La Cenerentola (Cinderella): (1817) (approx. 150-200’) (libretto), “is instantly recognizable as the fairy tale ‘Cinderella.’ Yet Gioachino Rossini’s intricate, hilarious, and heartfelt take on the story is no mere bedtime fable. Magical elements go out the window, while the stately archetypes of fairy-tale narratives give way to real, flesh-and-blood characters. Cinderella falls in love at first sight, but she also feels the pain of familial rejection, the sting of bullying, and the ache of self-doubt, which make her profound joy at the end of the opera all the more gratifying.” No one treated opera’s Cinderella fairly, except maybe her prince, her fairy godmother, and of course her animal friends. Still: “. . . Angelina of La Cenerentola is more than an accessory on the arm of some glib urban warrior. And she isn’t waiting for Mr. Wonderful to bring her out of her shell. She’s already out. She’s a believable human being who remains true to herself, and above all remains true to love.” “. . . the opera mixes domestic drudgery with princes and philosophers, opera buffa grotesques with sentiment and pathos . . .” The ethical lessons in the opera are many. Top audio-only recorded performances are by Terrani & Araiza, Ferro conducting, in 1980; and DiDonato & Zapata, Zedda conducting, in 2004. Top recorded performances, with video, are by von Stade & Araiza, Abbado conducting, in 1981; Donose & Mironov, Jurowski conducting, in 2005 ***; and Kuhlman & Dale, Renzetti conducting, in 2012.
The musical “Oliver!” (1960) (approx. 134-154’) is based on Charles Dickens’ novel Oliver Twist, or The Parish Boy’s Progress (1838) about a boy who is sent to a workhouse after his mother dies. You can see the musical here for free, or rent/buy a film version here. Here are links to the original Broadway cast recording, the 1994 Palladium cast recording, and the 2009 London cast recording.
The musical “Into the Woods” (1987) combines three Grimm fairy tales, set to music. “The story follows a Baker and his wife, who wish to have a child; Cinderella, who wishes to attend the King's Festival; and Jack, who wishes his cow would give milk. When the Baker and his wife learn that they cannot have a child because of a Witch's curse, the two set off on a journey to break the curse. Everyone's wish is granted, but the consequences of their actions return to haunt them later with disastrous results.” Here are links to the original Broadway cast recording, and to the 2022 Broadway cast recording.
Music: songs and other short pieces
- Billy Joel, "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)" (lyrics)
From the dark side:
- Queen, “Is This the World We Created?” (lyrics)
Visual Arts
Film and Stage
- In Cold Blood: filmed with the sensibilities of the 1960s, this quasi-documentary of a murder of a Kansas family is a study in empathy for the victims and to an extent for the murderers
- Daniel, about the Rosenberg executions, seen through the eyes of one of their sons
- Donnie Brasco, about an FBI agent who comes to identify with the Mafia members whose gang he has infiltrated
- Ladybird, Ladybird “asks viewers to imagine what it is like for Maggie . . . to open a newspaper one day and see a photograph of a boy in need of adoptive parents.”
- Violette: challenging the limits of empathy, this film tells the true story of a young woman who murders her father to collect an inheritance
- Au Hazard Balthazar: filmmaker Robert Bresson presents the life of a mistreated animal, “noble in its acceptance of a life over which it has no control”, in a way that allows the audience to draw its own conclusions about his experiences
What is kindness? Where is the line between empathy and arrogance? These two films raise these and other questions:
- Brother’s Keeper, a documentary about two brothers in upstate New York, one of whom was accused of killing the other
- Of Mice and Men, in which Steinbeck left no doubt who ended Lennie’s life